


Five things Lan Fan thinks are like breathing

by kittu9



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: 5 Things, Duty, Gen, Introspection, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-06
Updated: 2011-08-06
Packaged: 2017-10-22 07:25:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/235465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittu9/pseuds/kittu9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not even a muscle memory at this point; it's an instinct. It just happens.</p><p>Originally posted on LJ in September 2006.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five things Lan Fan thinks are like breathing

1.

She puts on her mask and goes to war.

 

2.

They stare at each other sometimes, when they are alone: Lan Fan can almost hear the young master's every thought as it is conceived.

( _Lan Fan_ , he wants to say—but the mere thought of her makes him quite human. He wonders how she can know him so well, and still remain in awe of what he is.)

 

3.

Breathing when he breathes, flinching moments before he wakes and she scurries across the room. Lan Fan’s a woman beneath her bindings—she doubts that she has ever been a girl—and sometimes she stares at the young master, thinking about several things at once: how to draw a knife while throwing herself over backwards; the lines of succession; the young master’s fervent desires; the way the sun has come in through the window this morning, washing over the occupants of this room until they seem to be drenched in light.

(He is beautiful and terrifying; he is becoming a god.)

 

4.

She binds her breasts very early in the morning, before her companions awaken. The bandages are wide and beautifully thin (if Lan Fan ever marries, her wedding-clothes will not be made of fabric this fine), woven of flax and silk by one of the women of her mother’s house. She arches back, until her chest is almost as flat as a man’s—this is a trick that women of the guard share among themselves, like many other secrets—and she begins to wrap at her left side, careful to keep the fabric taut and the pressure even. Her sternum rises up from her chest like mountains she has never seen, a sharp series of little bones.

The entire process takes very little time and is much like the routine of her morning meditations. She completes this task with alacrity, because it is one of the many small things she does to protect herself every day.

 

5.

Some women hum love songs and compose poetry as they go about their work: Lan Fan chants different ways to kill a man without his noticing and memorizes that vulnerable little hollow behind and slightly below the human ear. Just in case.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Five things Lan Fan thinks are like breathing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1337590) by [Chestnut_filly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chestnut_filly/pseuds/Chestnut_filly)




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